Why is that when I’m on a bad run, I still get judi online so stressed? I still think its rigged against me. You know the feeling. By now I should be able to patiently ride out any downswings.

I mean its not like I’m stupid. Or young anymore (unfortunately). So why do I seem to find it so difficult to learn this basic life-skill.

I am getting better, but its a surprisingly slow process.

Update on progress. May finished well – taking my winnings for the month over $1k. This was probably my biggest ever month for pure playing profit, because I had very little rake rebate and bonus.

June has started well, but my expectations have unfortunately started to rise as well. I’ve made around $300 so far, but we’re almost half way through the month so I’m behind where I want to be. My biggest problem has been slow starts to my sessions. Once I get ahead on the $25 NL tables I seem to be able to boss the game – its getting the initial momentum that I seem to find difficult. And all my recent sessions have started with bad beats – lots of them!

Anyway – staying positive! I’m winning. I’m winning at an incredible rate relative to the stakes I’m playing. And I’ve just come of a run of bad beats which I’m sure is about to change.

I have a couple of dabbles at $50 tables. First time out I had a cold run of cards and 2 horrible bad beats. Second time I did ok. I’m up, but only a few bets. Need to spend more time there I think!

Do I need to be more arrogant??!!

May is going pretty well. A couple of blips, but I’m almost up to last months total of $750 profit, playing $25 and $50 NL ring games.

In terms of BB’s I’m really tearing up the game, especially when you add in bonuses. I don’t have the sudden rushes that some players have, because I don’t play that way and I’m certainly far from pushing every edge at the moment. You just don’t need to when people are making so many mistakes all around you.

But am I doing myself out of much bigger profits by not moving up a couple of limits? I’ve got plenty of bankroll. That got me to thinking about how important confidence/arrogance is in a poker player.

Obviously in a bad player this is a disaster. And to be quite honest it is a situation you see all day every day. People who think they can play but can’t really. But in an above average player I think perhaps a bit of arrogance is an asset. And when you look at the top players (in most fields not just poker) they all have that self-belief that borders on arrogance. Cause or effect – I suspect its the former.

Next month I might give it a go up a couple of levels and see how I go. Maybe the real ATM’s won’t be around and I’ll find I make fewer BB’s/hr but the same money, or even that I am out of my depth.

Somehow I think I could easily go to the $100 at Party/Empire and still find myself in the top 10% of players playing there. I’ll keep you posted.